Nothing Bad is Going to Happen...

....Well, at least not most of the bad things people worry about. Being anxious about what "might be" is a killer of "what is".



Think about it. Even the most positive people at times worry about things that aren't going to happen. The U.S. government has been run on a campaign of negative "what ifs" for the last seven years. It's effective for controlling response and keeping people from paying attention to what is actually going on right now. The only bad things that have happened to this country as a whole are those things the government has done while keeping our attention on potential disasters which never occurred.

Those nights when you don't sleep are probably either filled with regret or disappointment about what has happened in the past (another topic for another day) or conjuring images of a possible bleak future. What would happen if we enjoyed the bed and the sheets and the darkness and the ability to lie down and? ...well, you get the picture.

When we worry about what might be, we are only limited by our imagination. We can create hundreds of stressful scenarios for ourselves. And while we are letting our stomachs get tied up in knots over these, the harmless and quite possibly enjoyable present is escaping our attention. The real killer is that the things we worry about, more often than not, do not happen. We really have no idea what the future will bring.

Tool for Cutting Down Personal Stress Pollution
My guess is that if you are online now the chances are pretty good that right in this 60 second bubble things are okay.

You have probably eaten or know where to get your next meal.

You probably are wearing comfortable clothes (or not...your choice).

You most likely have some kind of a roof over your head or know where you have access to one should you need it.

You have in front of you a world of information, communication and/or entertainment on this computer.

For this 60 seconds - things are actually okay. Most of our 60 second periods of life are. It's only when we pollute them with negative "what ifs" that are made up fantasies about our futures that we create a toxic place for ourselves.

Enjoy this 60 seconds without worrying about the past or the future. In this 60 seconds everything is alright. And, in reality, you really have no idea what the next 60 seconds will bring. But in this 60 seconds, you have nothing to worry about.

If you find yourself particularly anxious, mentally focus yourself back into the present moment. Take account of what is actually happening now. It's real and, most likely, it's comfortable, it's safe, and it's satisfying unlike many of the imagined futures we are prone to create.

Etiquette as Stress Management

Etiquette is just a formalized way in which people kindly acknowledge another person. It is not about rules and regulation. It's about being gracious to other people and showing that you have basic human respect for them.

Etiquette is about paying attention. We lose so much in this day and age because we are so busy and so much is going on. We fail to see people around us. When was the last time you were jostled in a crowded store without so much as an "excuse me" from the jostler. It doesn't sound like much, but that little jostle without acknowledgement from the jostler is as good as a "I'm taking this space - screw you." A sincere "excuse me" or "pardon me" says, "Sorry, I should have been paying attention. I should have recognized that you have feelings." Now multiply that by how many times people are pushing into each other in this busy, overcrowded, "I gotta get mine, screw you" society that we live in. In the stores, at work, in your car, anywhere. On some level, it all equals stress.

Returning "civil" to "civilization" as a society would be a great step toward managing stress.